irrelevantly I

I was convinced that somehow I don’t exist, but that’s probably not precise

I remember gestures and chatters like there’s no one

names that were temporary collected from something and someone fleeting by

referring to I 

that is not I at all

no identities, there weren’t any

but a faint nothing that catatonically collapses into a thing or two or some

and that sketch of almost a thing is used to be invisible next week 

or non-existence 2 hours ago

but maybe I do exist, comfortable even

since it seems agonizing when a faint nothing be

and something or someone tries to delete it/ 

clear it or abort it before it’s anything 

in the suspension of nothing and a thing 

I as an occurrence of nothing and something

in the absence of them and things 

I am not one thing nor non-such idyllic angers 

in the absence of themselves

omni-existing to questions of non existence 

whom dearly yet irrelevantly matters